1. I ought not have all that I ask for. I know quite well that if you give in to me, you are letting us both down and spoiling me.
  2. If you are firm with me then I know where I stand with you. I prefer firmness.
  3. Force teaches me that Power is all that counts. (Help me to be an individual that can rely on something besides force) I will readily respond to being led.
  4. Be consistent in your actions and reactions so that I can avoid confusion and we can live in harmony. Inconsistency makes me try to get away with everything that I can.
  5. Promises are made to be kept and I trust any promise you make to me will be kept. This will increase my trust in you.
  6. When I provoke you–say and do things to upset you–ignore me. If you react I’ll try for more such victories.
  7. “I hate you” is a next door neighbour to “I love you” and to hate you I must love you and, I guess, I must love you to hate you. When I say “I hate you” I want you to feel sorry for what you have done to me.
  8. If I am made to feel smaller than I am, I will make up for it by behaving like a “big shot”
  9. Have me do the things that I am able to do by myself. If you do them it makes me feel like a baby, and I may continue to put you in my service.
  10. I like to discuss my errors in private so we can both benefit and not make ourselves and those around us embarrassed.
  11. When I am in the heat of conflict my hearing and cooperation are not very good. Take the necessary action required and let us discuss it later.
  12. Preaching to me does little (no) good. You’d be surprised how well I know what’s right and wrong.
  13. Mistakes are an opportunity to try again. I have to learn to make mistakes without feeling that I am no good.
  14. If you nag I will protect myself by appearing deaf.
  15. If you ask why I did something wrong, I will answer, “I don’t know” I really don’t know why I did it.
  16. I try to be as honest as you will allow me to be
  17. Remember I love, use, and learn from experimenting so please bear with me.
  18. I need to learn from experience so help me by allowing me to enjoy and endure the consequences.
  19. If you pay too much attention to my small ailments, I may learn to enjoy poor health.
  20. I ask and seek information from those people that respond to my honest questions.
  21. There are times I just want to keep you busy with me by asking silly or meaningless questions. Please help me by reacting in a way that nonsense talk should be dealt with.
  22. An honest apology from you makes me fee surprisingly warm toward you and it enhances your dignity.
  23. If you suggest that you are perfect and infallible, it gives me too much to live up to.
  24. The amount of time we spend together is not as important as how we spend that time.
  25. Show me, by your example, the courage to face my fears.
  26. I am just like everyone else. I need understanding and encouragement.
    Treat me with the respect and dignity you maintain for your friends and friendly we will be. I learn more from a model than from a critic.

Revised by: Paul J. Berghoff source: www.alfredadler.org